Tuesday, October 18, 2011

#10 - Fulfilling My Husband

Fulfilling My Husband
A resolution to be the kind of woman who truly blesses her man

~ Marriage Proposal ~
Sunday, October 16, 2011

Questions to Ask Yourself:
~ What are some things you would say if you were counseling a young woman on the eve of her wedding day?

~ Would you say you have accepted the responsibilities marriage has required, or resisted them?

~ List some of your husband's characteristics that you wish would change but likely will not.  Now record the way YOU can change to adapt to your husband's characteristics if these attributes are never altered.

~ Before reading further, record some of the facets of your marriage you would like to see affected by this resolution.  Use this as a guideline for prayer and a barometer for change in your relationship as you incorporate into your marriage the principles we will discuss.

~ Single women, as you read these chapters, take the opportunity to record your thoughts, questions, and insights.

~ Hopes and Fears ~
Monday, October 17, 2011

Men (husbands in particular) possess two great fears:
- The fear of being found inadequate
- The fear of being controlled by a woman

He desires more than anything:
- To see a look of love and admiration in your eyes
- Wants to know that you celebrate him.
- Wants to know that you depend on him.
- Wants to know that you feel privileged to be married to him.
- Wants to know that you expect great things from him.

His fear of inadequacy:
- He is capable, honorable, and worth of your attention and admiration.
- Desires to know more than anything that you trust him, that you believe he has the wisdom and talent to succeed.
- Fulfilled when he senses that, despite his inadequacies, you see the possibilities and potential God has given him as your provider and protector.
- Likes knowing you're praying for him, rooting for him, assuring him that he still has what it takes to be the man of your dreams.
- Feels genuinely affirmed by you, it makes him want to live up to your trust in most cases.
- When he falls short, it will be apparent that his desire was to meet your expectations.

His fear of being controlled:
- Males and females have equal value, but both are not the same.
Female standards and opinions are different from a male.
Males are the leaders and females are the helpers.

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”
~ Genesis 2:18

Questions to Ask Yourself:
~ What does your husband do or say that shows signs of these two fears in his life?  After recording your answers, consider what you do to contribute to them, as well as what you could do to defuse them.

~ How does soothing a husband's fears ultimately benefit the wife?

~ "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands." (Proverbs 14:1).  What are some practical ways you can begin to "build your house"?

~ if your friends were to describe your husband, based solely on your comments and conversations about him, what would their depiction be?

~ Need a Little Peace and Quiet? ~
Tuesday, October 18, 2011

In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands;
~ 1 Peter 3:1-5

- Greek language of the Bible, this is the word praus, meaning not to be overly impressed with oneself, to be humble, considerate, and meek.
- Being asked to be kind to our husbands, as the same way we want them to be kind to us.

- Greek language of the Bible, this is the word hesychois, meaning to be well ordered, to lead a peaceable and discreet life, thus lightening the task of the one in authority.

Begin this resolution by asking your husband what honor looks like to him.  What causes him to be dishonored?  You may be surprised by his answer.  Creatively consider on thing you can do to be proactively kind. (If you're single, determine to meet with a married couple whose relationship you admire, and ask them what this looks like in their marriage.  It's a wise single woman who takes the opportunity to learn these things now.)  So with a prayerful, honest, hopeful heart, sign this resolution into practice.  Prepare to live it for the good of your marriage and the glory of Christ.

Fulfilling My Husband
I will be faithful to my husband and honor him in my conduct and conversation in order to bring glory to the name of the Lord.  I will aspire to be a suitable partner for him to help him reach his God-given potential.

Note From Myself:
After reading these four sections, this has made me want to be in the future a more faithful wife to my future husband.  I am still single and reading this I pray ever more that I can be a wifeI want whom ever I am meant to be with to see a look of love and admiration in my eyes.  I also want him to know that I will celebrate him, depend on him, feel privileged to be married to him, and expect great things from him.  I will ask a married couple sometime about how their marriage is like, because I definitely want to be in a relationship with the man God will allow me to be with. 

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